Players who have had horrible careers for you...

Share the stories you lived in the Blood Bowl universe and tell us your best moment on the pitch.
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HC-Vanselow
Posts: 530
Joined: 26 August 2011, 00:06
Location: Long Beach, California

Re: Players who have had horrible careers for you...

Postby HC-Vanselow » 19 November 2012, 20:10

:shock: I'm going to lodge the first team that has performed horribly for me which is the Mt. Mikilenburg 51ers (Dwarves). They onced reigned on top of the Aristotle Agyrazkodas rolodex of Blood Bowl franchises, however have fallen into the depths of dismally pouring themselves out on the Astrogranite game after game. They haven't won any of their 13 previous games which has allowed the following teams to jump up in their
rankings:

1. Deathshallow Decrypticons (Undead)
2. Filthsburgh Virus (Nurgle)
3. Templethrone Hell Hounds (Necromantic)
4. Sacred Mekhta Kings (Khemri)
5. Mt. Mikilenburg 51ers (Dwarves)
6. San Venturas Harlequins (P. Elf)
7. Killwhackee Schmucks (Goblins)

I don't think that Korquis Cyredrahael & Co. from the San Venturas 'Quins are going to exactly catapult themselves into contention anytime soon or should we even expect the magnificent "Springs" Verminstink and the Goblins from the Killwhackee Schmucks become overnight superstars. I do see however that the Dwarven team won't be overtaking the Sacred Mekhta Kings ancient line-up if Wen-Amun Harakhte has anything to do with it !!!

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HC-Vanselow
Posts: 530
Joined: 26 August 2011, 00:06
Location: Long Beach, California

Re: Players who have had horrible careers for you...

Postby HC-Vanselow » 25 November 2012, 21:06

:shock: The Mt. Mikilenburg 51ers (Dwarves) are going to be replaced by the St. Vallarum Skraelings (Norse) as the other candidates who could have possibly taken the position are as follows: Los Jalapenos Gourmets (Halflings) or Ayuahteotl Iguanas (Lizardmen).

The 'Flings would have just become another squad collecting "L" after "L" as I've already got the Killwhackee Schmucks (Goblins) at 0-0-6 as we speak. The theme of the team would be the players being named after various food companies such as Lionel Pillsbury, Rex Planters, Jeremiah Wrigleys and so on. The "Twin Towers" of the Treemen are a proven pain in the ass for me as their MA 2 doesn't allow them to get near enough to opponents for raking up casualties and their pudgy Halfling throwing prowess isn't much better.

The Lizardmen used to be one of my former squads that performed marvellously, yet as much as the combination of strength and speed sounds good. It seems that the Sauri often are left to babysit the fragile lil' Skinks. Most opponents employ the gameplan of "Whack-A-Skink" and then leave the ball carrying to the Sauri who aren't exactly dodging anywhere and AG 1 makes them about as graceful as Khemrian Tomb Guardians when picking up the ball is in question.

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HC-Vanselow
Posts: 530
Joined: 26 August 2011, 00:06
Location: Long Beach, California

Re: Players who have had horrible careers for you...

Postby HC-Vanselow » 27 November 2012, 19:26

:P It's official...The St. Vallarum Skraelings "Norse Force" have replaced the bumbling Mt. Mikilenburg 51ers, but the Los Jalapeños Gourmets (Halflings) and Ayauhteol Iguanas (Lizardmen) are waiting for the chance to get back into action and word has it that a Dark Elf team is brewing...

hermanJnr.
Posts: 264
Joined: 18 August 2011, 09:40

Re: Players who have had horrible careers for you...

Postby hermanJnr. » 18 December 2012, 13:51

I've had absolutely awful luck with Nurgle players in general, to the point that I sort of ragequit playing them for now. Things like constantly failed Regen rolls resulting in dead Warriors in the first couple of matches.

However, I had this one Beast of Nurgle that really took the pi-...err...biscuit :D

His first game he got blocked off the pitch Turn 3, Miss Next Game, 140k TV deficit. Next game he failed to hold anyone still with Tentacles and kept going Stupid. The fourth game he got his neck broken on a 1d from some Elves (again, MNG). Sixth game he took one knockdown in the first half...and again took a Casualty result immediately, BH.

So in the team's first 6 games he managed to miss 3 through injury and in all but one he played was off the pitch permanently by the end of the first half, sometimes not even the first quarter! :x

I also have a history of useless Yhetees that kill themselves, but fortunately that spree's been abated recently, touch wood.

They're instead been replaced by remarkably incompetent Berserkers. I was checking one the other day: he has Block, Frenzy, MB, Piling On and yet has only got his 16 SPP through 1 Casualty and a bunch of random MVP awards. He's played in 16 matches!
Formerly on the boards as "NinjaGammaMan".

Blackjaton
Posts: 128
Joined: 04 November 2012, 12:28

Re: Players who have had horrible careers for you...

Postby Blackjaton » 18 December 2012, 16:02

I have a Bloodthirster in my Khorne team and since the beginning i can count on him, he rarely do wild animal and i use him for every blitz of the match. He's lvl 4 with break tackle, Guard, and Mighty blow, but since the last time he leveled up, he almost injures nobody.

I blitz every turn the weaker guy of the adverse team (injured or low av) but they fall on the ground as if it was a 30lbs human that charged them. I'm extremely disapointed of him and thinking about fire him if he don't have a double at 51 spp :twisted:

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HC-Vanselow
Posts: 530
Joined: 26 August 2011, 00:06
Location: Long Beach, California

Re: Players who have had horrible careers for you...

Postby HC-Vanselow » 18 March 2013, 04:17

:?: Herman Jr., how in Hell did your Beast of Nurgle get sweeped off the pitch. Next time you try fielding a Nurgle team, either put the B.O.N. as a kind of Defensive Tackle or Middle Linebacker for that way he will remain more useful and see beyond Turn 3.

colourcodedchaos
Posts: 15
Joined: 02 April 2013, 14:11

Re: Players who have had horrible careers for you...

Postby colourcodedchaos » 05 April 2013, 16:43

This isn't conventionally awful, but I thought it might be worth sharing for the sheer "you tried factor".

I play Khemri because my friends play various shades of Elf and I am a glutton for punishment. I've read guides until my eyes have bled all over the place and I know how you need to use the team in order to get the win. However, Friends And Fun (the backstory being that they were undead children's party entertainers and turned to Blood Bowl to fund balloon-animal-sculpting lessons for poor orphans and the like) have a slightly unfortunate substitute, and his name is Uncle Prat.

Uncle Prat is a Skeleton I keep around because getting rid of him would be like kicking a puppy. He's the emergency substitute, and in every game he's been required to come onto the field something has gone horribly wrong and he has been almost killed. He is now MA 4 St3 Ag 1 AV5. He has the worst stats in the entire league. We checked.

Despite this, his never-say-die attitude is both a joy to watch and quite fitting for a skeleton. Because of his many, many, MANY injuries, whenever he does anything at all it is cause for celebration and dancing in the streets. Sometimes he gets in on desperate, last-ditch blocks - I like to imagine it as basically him falling over on someone after the latest shin gives out. Sometimes, things come of those blocks.

By dint of sheer persistence and some frankly obscene dice luck in places, Uncle Prat is level 4. Uncle Prat has Wrestle, Guard and Jump Up.

In a world of competent players making wonderful moves with the ball and beating the tar out of each other with poise and skill, I am glad that there is a player like Uncle Prat.
Last edited by colourcodedchaos on 08 April 2013, 14:12, edited 1 time in total.

timdog
Posts: 433
Joined: 04 July 2009, 12:17

Re: Players who have had horrible careers for you...

Postby timdog » 07 April 2013, 23:07

any niggles on that skelly? he's pretty boss, I love that you are keeping him :) My fav one of those was a av6 niggled runner, couldn't keep him on a pitch but just couldn't let him go until he got permanently retired by deaths sweet embrace :)

colourcodedchaos
Posts: 15
Joined: 02 April 2013, 14:11

Re: Players who have had horrible careers for you...

Postby colourcodedchaos » 08 April 2013, 14:22

@timdog: Strangely not, considering the amount of times he's been stabbed in the eyesocket by Witches, had his ribs cracked by Wardancers, and been generally Blitzed into many, many fragments by disgruntled Ogre mercenaries in exchange for Chuckles The Clown (an S7(!) Tomb Guard with Mighty Blow, Block, and Leap, because I like a laugh)) decapitating yet another pointy-eared speedy embuggerance. I'm glad of this, because it means we get more Uncle Prat action.

Usually one turn more before he gets a face full of dirt.

He has, however, scored a touchdown once.

Nobody's really certain how.

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HC-Vanselow
Posts: 530
Joined: 26 August 2011, 00:06
Location: Long Beach, California

Re: Players who have had horrible careers for you...

Postby HC-Vanselow » 08 April 2013, 20:01

Scheeze, my Sacred Mekhta Kings (Khemri) would've waived Uncle Prat by now with his stat line. The AG 1 and AV 5 make him an automatic target. I generally run a Khemri team with 13 players and he would prove too much of a liability.


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