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A CalciumCas story - The road to the Champions Cup III

Posted: 14 March 2017, 12:51
by CalciumCas
'I am the most dangerous Blood Bowl coach in the world. The most dangerous coach in the world doesn't make friends'

Words to live by. Or so he thought. Having played and killed his way through most of the coaches on the PS4, CalciumCas was happy to be the quintessential loner, an object of derision and fear to any opponent that was unlucky enough to be drawn in battle against his team of bloodthirsty killers. He played hard, and won more than he lost. He was also known to mysteriously 'exit' a game if things were not going so well for his team, which only increased the hatred towards him.

Then he stepped onto the blessed turf against BernieBuffon. Here was a coach that that would stand and fight, never back down and make Calcium pay for his arrogance...They played, blood was spilled, it turned hostile. Insults were traded and both coaches embraced the deep hatred that quickly developed.

Then the impossible happened. Despite many claims that Calcium was only a poor coach hiding massive inadequacies in his coaching ability by choosing to play clawPOMB, he made the finals of the Cabalvision PS4 Champions Cup III. Gasps of shock and horror were heard from behind the closed doors of the established PS4 elite alumni....

'Who is this monstrous interloper who dares tread foot on our hallowed ground?'

The condemnation was almost universal...almost. One coach saw past the brutality of Calcium's playstyle. One coach saw the diamond in the rough of the stomping boots and deadly claw. That coach was SeriousJest and he offered a solitary hand of friendship to Calcium. Calcium was wary at first...was this a trap? Was this is Machiavellian play to undermine Calcium's ability to strike fear into the hearts of every coach within the realm of the PS4? Was SeriousJest pulling an 'Admiral Ackbar' and about to shout 'IT'S A TRAP!' before unleashing the banhammer?

Calcium took a chance and returned the outstretched hand (totally like the Dillon and Dutch handshake in Predator) and did something that up to that point was as alien to him as green lycra and 2+ dodging...He was NICE. SeriousJest explained that having the PS4's premier killer in the Champions Cup was of great benefit publicity wise, and he also assured Calcium that he would get on great with all the finalists, especially Bernie. Finally SeriousJest decided on a nickname for CalciumCas...'CC' (sounds like sissy if you ask me) - Calcium was surprisingly fine with this and decided to not kill SeriousJest immediately.

Calcium joined the Champions Cup finalists group, and despite the groups fears, they found him not to be a total dick. They chatted, they swapped friendly banter, and Calcium even talked to Bernie...

It is at this point I should point out that SeriousJest is quite obviously a mage or warlock of considerable power, his powers of premonition were strong enough to see the wonderful future that Calcium and Bernie would share. These once bitter enemies very quickly became BFF's, even partnering up to commentate on a couple of the Champions Cup 1st/2nd round games and discovering a bond forged through Blood Bowl.

Both Calcium and Bernie have faced stiff competition in the finals, with Bernie's Necromantic MML pack advancing against Orcs and an undefeated and heavily fancied Lizardman team. Calcium's team of murderous serial killers have advanced by utterly destroying Orcs and they managed to prevail against a heavily tipped and extremely well built Nurgle team.

Bernie now faces Reznorrulesyou's Skaven in the semi finals, a super fast team with ultra developed gutter runners...But Bernie is not afraid, he has STEVE FRIKKIN MICHAELS!

Calcium is drawn against Dienar321's blodge heavy dark elves, and is preparing for 16 rounds of chasing dark elf ass as they run away trying to score while crapping their pants.

Now, the rumour mill has been working overtime and an unknown source has said that Calcium is a bit unhappy about being tipped TWICE to lose by Bernie, which flies in the face of their new burgeoning bromance. While Calcium respects Bernies right to his opinion, the source has stated that Calcium cannot wait to wrap his clawed mitts around BFF Bernie's throat in the final, murder STEVE FRIKKIN MICHAELS and turn that doggy into a rug. Calcium has also been quoted on his twitter feed (@CalciumBB - shameless plug) as saying...

'I love my co-commentator BernieBuffon, but there's a fine line between love and a permanent injury'

The dark elves and skaven coaches will certainly have something to say about the fated final 'BATTLE OF THE BROSKIS' and will look to upset fate, but has NUFFLE decreed that these 2 coaches, once the most bitter of enemies and now the best of broskis, should meet in a final battle of the ages?

One things for sure...however this plays out, whatever scheme Nuffle decides to unleash...Calcium is now a part of the BB community on the PS4 and intends to stay! (Blame SeriousJest)

Re: A CalciumCas story - The road to the Champions Cup III

Posted: 16 March 2017, 19:30
by twitch/the_sage_bb
Glad to hear you're having fun Calcium. Now buy a real computer! =P

Re: A CalciumCas story - The road to the Champions Cup III

Posted: 17 March 2017, 01:15
by CalciumCas
Don't worry mate, I'll be around terrorising all you pro's next season of the Champions Ladder :twisted:

Re: A CalciumCas story - The road to the Champions Cup III

Posted: 18 March 2017, 10:50
by twitch/the_sage_bb
Don't worry mate, I'll be around terrorising all you pro's next season of the Champions Ladder :twisted:
Really? W00T!

Re: A CalciumCas story - The road to the Champions Cup III

Posted: 19 March 2017, 12:36
by CalciumCas
I love Blood Bowl 2, it's got an amazing community on the PS4, and I know a bunch of coaches on the PC through FUMBBL so I look forward to testing myself against the superior coaches on there like Jimmy/Fash/MurlocJoe/Seanny/you...And on FUMBBL, it's ironic that Cyanide is a far less toxic environment than FUMBBL, given the names - To think of how much love I used to have for FUMBBL as well, such a shame...